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David Levine's avatar

Madelleine, it is eerie reading that despite our different chronic illness, we have such SIMILAR trauma from medical gaslighting, grieving the person we once were, and our prior shame of being sensitive. I will take a listen to your music shortly. Thank you for sharing and congratulations for your release.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Hi David! I’m so sorry you have trauma from medical gaslighting too, it’s terrible. Let me know what you think of my music once you’ve listened 🩷💙

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David Levine's avatar

It was moving! I love your deep vibrato that matched that super bass tone in the beginning,. It’s very vulnerable and honest and beautiful.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you so much, that makes me so happy 🩷💙

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Audrey Edwards's avatar

thankyou for your writing. I dream of a dog I had as a companion for 14 years very often. It reminds me of the kind of unconditional love and acceptance I don't have now, but I know I am capable of.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

What a sweet dream 🩷💙

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Amber Horrox's avatar

I love that you know you are capable of unconditional love and acceptance. A practice I’m still learning and one I’ve realised my partner is playing a part in teaching me.

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Nurturing Journal's avatar

This really spoke to me, thank you. I am sorry you can't run in your dreams. I can't either, my brain remembers my illness when awake or asleep and I feel my fatigue and pain and inability to run there too.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you! And sending gentle hugs your way 🩷💙

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Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

A lovely song and I’m sad you can’t run in your sleep, Madelleine. I recently swam in my dreams and it was wonderful. I haven’t swum since 2017.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Oh lovely! I miss swimming. And thank you 🩷💙

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Amber Horrox's avatar

🩵

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Amber Horrox's avatar

I used to dream of flying high in my (reasonably/fake/masked) well days. I wasn’t paying attention to my dreams though and at one point I was beginning to be shot at with bows and arrows. I now see them as warning signs to pay attention. Be vigilant. Perhaps make some changes. (I didn’t. It ended badly.)

Since losing my health entirely, I can’t get off the floor to fly in my dream, too much fear. I haven’t even tried since (in my dreams).

Though I gave my inner child the gift of wings in meditation last year. Now she’s metaphorically flying around all over the place and I’m keen to see how that starts playing out in the physical world.

I’m intrigued by trauma - medical trauma too, but what of the trauma before that? Not just in this lifetime but in past and along our ancestral line. What role does this play in chronic illness?

It’s been a huge (privileged) part of my healing. Energetically, I’ve fully healed it all. Including my own birth trauma and money stories.

I also once saw a massive angel by my side on a family holiday. Me and my brother were off our faces walking down a main country road. I reached my hand out to hold its hand. A massive lorry went by and it beeped furiously at us. We then realised there was a path on the other side of the road and we were dangerously close to getting run over😆 I now believe that was a guardian angel🪽

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Love this! And I love how you gave your inner child wings!

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