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Amber Horrox's avatar

😵😵😵😵 it’s only in recent years I realised I’ve been gaslighted (also question the gaslit use of the term😆) for 20 years !!!! For the first 17, I TOLD doctors migraine was what it was. I was dismissed every time. For the last 3 years (where, like you, I struggled to make it into the surgery, couldn’t stand up, was really struggling in all areas of my life, my health had deteriorated significantly and continued to do so) I was told it was a tension headache !!!!! I had NO IDEA this was the feeling of shame. And - after doing what I believed you were SUPPOSED to do - that’s why I told no one! I suffered in silence. Agonising silence. I’ve only been able to connect with the feeling of shame on a conscious level this year - after I released it. A Revolutionary read. So glad we have connected today🙏

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Argh so sorry to hear this happened to you too. I know of other people who suffer from migraines who have been gaslighted/gaslit in a really sexist way. Urgh. No more silence! So glad you have connected with the shame feeling and are starting to release it, it’s really hard. Honestly, I still have days where I struggle with this.

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Amber Horrox's avatar

It’s taken me years to release shame. And honestly? I wouldn’t recognise it if I felt it….. I’ve been working on regulating my emotions as part of getting to root cause this past year or 2 as if it’s been a full time job! It’s been treacherous. But the pay offs have been big. I know brene brown writes about it a lot (love her) but I’m learning about it in more depth and in a way I never have before through you.

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Linn Thorstensson's avatar

I so appreciate your perspective Madeline, though I wish you wouldn’t have to go through it 🙁

And also thank you for letting me know that Kelly Diels is on Substack! Yay 😃

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Kelly is awesome! And thank you!

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Jan 26, 2024
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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

So sorry to hear about the labelling and feelings of shame. What do you think could help the change that you’re looking for?

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Jan 26, 2024
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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Yes please!!

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