Ever been medically gaslighted? It comes with shame, and shame is not just a ‘bad feeling’. It has a function, and that function is power to uphold status quo. Here’s how it works.
😵😵😵😵 it’s only in recent years I realised I’ve been gaslighted (also question the gaslit use of the term😆) for 20 years !!!! For the first 17, I TOLD doctors migraine was what it was. I was dismissed every time. For the last 3 years (where, like you, I struggled to make it into the surgery, couldn’t stand up, was really struggling in all areas of my life, my health had deteriorated significantly and continued to do so) I was told it was a tension headache !!!!! I had NO IDEA this was the feeling of shame. And - after doing what I believed you were SUPPOSED to do - that’s why I told no one! I suffered in silence. Agonising silence. I’ve only been able to connect with the feeling of shame on a conscious level this year - after I released it. A Revolutionary read. So glad we have connected today🙏
Argh so sorry to hear this happened to you too. I know of other people who suffer from migraines who have been gaslighted/gaslit in a really sexist way. Urgh. No more silence! So glad you have connected with the shame feeling and are starting to release it, it’s really hard. Honestly, I still have days where I struggle with this.
It’s taken me years to release shame. And honestly? I wouldn’t recognise it if I felt it….. I’ve been working on regulating my emotions as part of getting to root cause this past year or 2 as if it’s been a full time job! It’s been treacherous. But the pay offs have been big. I know brene brown writes about it a lot (love her) but I’m learning about it in more depth and in a way I never have before through you.
😵😵😵😵 it’s only in recent years I realised I’ve been gaslighted (also question the gaslit use of the term😆) for 20 years !!!! For the first 17, I TOLD doctors migraine was what it was. I was dismissed every time. For the last 3 years (where, like you, I struggled to make it into the surgery, couldn’t stand up, was really struggling in all areas of my life, my health had deteriorated significantly and continued to do so) I was told it was a tension headache !!!!! I had NO IDEA this was the feeling of shame. And - after doing what I believed you were SUPPOSED to do - that’s why I told no one! I suffered in silence. Agonising silence. I’ve only been able to connect with the feeling of shame on a conscious level this year - after I released it. A Revolutionary read. So glad we have connected today🙏
Argh so sorry to hear this happened to you too. I know of other people who suffer from migraines who have been gaslighted/gaslit in a really sexist way. Urgh. No more silence! So glad you have connected with the shame feeling and are starting to release it, it’s really hard. Honestly, I still have days where I struggle with this.
It’s taken me years to release shame. And honestly? I wouldn’t recognise it if I felt it….. I’ve been working on regulating my emotions as part of getting to root cause this past year or 2 as if it’s been a full time job! It’s been treacherous. But the pay offs have been big. I know brene brown writes about it a lot (love her) but I’m learning about it in more depth and in a way I never have before through you.
I so appreciate your perspective Madeline, though I wish you wouldn’t have to go through it 🙁
And also thank you for letting me know that Kelly Diels is on Substack! Yay 😃
Kelly is awesome! And thank you!
So sorry to hear about the labelling and feelings of shame. What do you think could help the change that you’re looking for?
Yes please!!