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Sheila's avatar

Oh wow this makes my blood boil, it’s no coincidence that medical issues affecting women are more often diagnosed as mental health problems. The old fashioned theory of hysteria still ingrained in today’s world.

In my opinion the diagnosis of ‘it’s in your head’ (which I’d like to say the mind is a complex thing and I do believe there are big connections however...) is laziness, pure laziness. None of the descriptions above, or my experiences, have lead to help at all. Be it with my physical symptoms or my supposed psychological issues (I do have psychological issues but most stem from my physical issues).

I had a doctor once tell me I experience pain as I copied my mum (who has a different chronic pain condition) and I experienced more pain because I was a woman. I said, okay, suppose that is the case what can we do about it? Can you refer me to a psychologist? The answer is no, because the pain isn’t from my head. It isn’t from our heads!

Honestly a topic that gets me angry, for me and for you and for all the other people who are the hands of this ignorance.

We are our own best doctors, we know what works and what doesn’t. We know what is healing and what worsens. In all my experiences, and reading yours, we are our own best experts 💚

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

I agree wth every single word!! And thank you for your anger 🌸🌺

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Sheila's avatar

Sending lots of strength your way, because goodness knows we need it when facing these issues! Thank you as always for writing. x

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Yes, we all need it! Thank you 🌸💙🩷

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Sheila's avatar

💚💚💚

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Martha's avatar

I am SO sorry about the experience you had in the hospital. It makes me so angry, I know how unbelievably horrible that experience must be for you even to this day. I have definitely had experiences of being told me recurrent utis were in my head! And now I have a chronic uti that has made me house bound for 3 years! If I wasn’t dismissed and treated properly it’s likely I wouldn’t be in this position today. It’s incredibly concerning how quick doctors are to dismiss any health issues and blame it on hysteria. It’s incredibly stressful to be on the receiving end of. I was once told to be braver by a doctor and I ended up flaring for months with the dismissal and accusation I wasn’t being brave and I needed to take my chronic health issues elsewhere.

My friend who also has cUTI recently requested all of her medical notes for something she needed and in that contained all the emails between doctors saying she’s hysterical and making up her utis and seeks attention. She is now bedbound like me. I don’t even remotely want to access and read the emails that are on my notes. That’s a Pandora’s box I’ll leave closed.

The entire worlds approach to chronic conditions it’s disgusting - especially ME/CFS and now LC. My mum had LC (recovered mostly now) and the amount of times she was also told to do the graded exercise to help heal is nuts. So horrified at those cases from Denmark - thank you for sharing & writing this. Xx

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

OMG that is horrible!! Argh! Thank you so much for sharing your stories. While morbid, it helps a lot of people to know they (we) are not alone 🌸

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Martha's avatar

I completely agree! While there so much we don’t have (our health) we do have a very understanding community. No matter the illness, every long term sufferer just gets it and that’s always nice to hear 🩵 and definitely helps feel less alone

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Exactly!

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Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

The past - and present - medical mismanagement of severe ME/CFS makes me so angry. Noone suggests you walk on an a broken leg to make it better.

The latest Finnish study into muscles in Long COVID (& related ME/CFS findings) should help with this for future newly diagnosed people. Its getting a lot of coverage.

https://www.healthrising.org/blog/2024/01/09/exercisse-muscle-damage-energy-depletion-long-covid/

TL:DR Do not try to exercise your way out of Long COVID unless you want to permanently damage your muscles (and some of your cellular energy cycles)

Thank you for spending precious energy on speaking truth to bullshit.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you Michelle, it’s taken a long time to write... I’m so pissed off that Denmark is still perpetuating this crap.

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Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

Understandably pissed off. Its fascinating where each society draws the lines: inside you’re relatively safe, outside you don’t matter or are legitimate prey. Fascinating if you’re not on the wrong side of that line, infuriating if you are. WTAF.

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Libby's avatar

It's infuriating. It's humiliating and distressing to have so called medical professionals dismiss obviously physical illness. I've experienced some of the same dismissal. I have fibromyalgia. I'm pleased to say that in the UK the medical profession are acknowledging it's a physical disease rather than a figment of our imagination. Indeed, FM was included as a disability in the Equality Act of 2010(?). Added to the humiliation and anger and distress is the lengths we are put through to receive financial aid. So much is dependent on the assessor. An assessor who can at the stroke of a pen dismiss years of medical history just because they feel like it. My sympathy goes out to you and all who suffer. 💜

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you so much, Libby. Fibromyalgia is more ‘accepted’ as a physical disease in Denmark too, although all disabled people have problems with social services, as I hear you too have in the UK.

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Sabine Kaur's avatar

This was difficult to read. You have suffered so much and continue to do so. Thank you for doing this work to educate others and offer compassion and hope. I agree, there is much ignorance and room for change in the medical community when it comes to ME certainly, and women’s health.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you for being a witness, Sabine 🌸✨

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Julia Stueber's avatar

Thank you so much for this! I had a doc who told me it was all psychosomatic - unfortunately I was too weak that day for any discussion. My hubby and I learned from this encounter, that we will only go to a new doc together. And I am gathering print-outs, for when I see a new doc. I even have an ICD-code book, which I will slam on the table the next time and make them search for ME/CFS in it. Oh surprise, it is under neurological disorders! ;-)

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Aargh that’s infuriating, and especially when too weak to say anything. So sorry you had to go through this 🌸 Good idea with bringing docs etc.!

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Julia Stueber's avatar

Thank you. 💕 And in case the doc is really nasty, I can throw the ICD code book at them - it is huge! 😂

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

OMG that’s my new fantasy!! I have plenty doctors I would love to throw the ICD code book at 😂

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Julia Stueber's avatar

😂😂😂 We surely have fun fantasies!

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Audhdpainter's avatar

Graded exercise does so much harm! At my last GP appointment I was told to join a gym. It is as if doctors are unable to hear what we are saying. This was after I'd said I'm in a flare up and mostly housebound. A previous GP told me they don't believe in ME. It is no wonder we are angry. This illness is so so awful but made more so by the stigma and lack of understanding. I'm so sorry you've had such an awful experience. It is no wonder we avoid medical settings if we can! Xx

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Aargh it’s soo infuriating!

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Oct 27, 2024
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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

I’d love to read that post when you’ve written it! I tried somehing akin to brain retraining — more like brain rewiring. It definitely improved my mental health but had no impact whatsoever on my ME. I’m seeing a lot of brain retraining recovery stories around, and I wonder what’s going on… but we don’t hear the stories from those who found it didn’t work.

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Oct 27, 2024Edited
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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Yeah I agree with you here. And we desperately need proper diagnostic tests!

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Audhdpainter's avatar

This is so important to get out there, healing trauma etc is a useful thing to do but it does not cure ME. We can support our bodies with diet, relaxation etc but this does not heal the very real mechanisms going on in our bodies!

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Exactly!

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