This was beautiful Madelleine. Thank you for sharing it with us.
The line that stuck with me was “I know you want me to surface again”
That’s how I feel people treat me. They want the “old” me. They want the me before chronic illness. They want me to be “better”.
They don’t stop to consider what I want, or whether what they’re asking of me is even possible. They just demand normalcy for their own sake, or they leave me to sink.
As you say it gives us cold hearts, not because we’re uncaring, but because people reject our hearts. They reject us. We don’t deserve it.
I think this song will really resonate with people dealing with abandonment due to their chronic illness… I know it certainly resonated with me 💜
Your sorrys don’t touch me they won’t lessen my pain
The darkness here cleans me like rain
I used to be a swimmer & also find peace under the water. I miss it sooo much. When I take baths, I submerge all but my nose & imagine I’m swimming in a warm sea. It is very calming.
I believe the magic of creativity and flurry of inspiration comes from an infinite well. There is no end to it. It’s always there. There’s a flow to it and (to me) it’s about being in flow, being connected. It comes in waves so it’s catching the waves when they are there. There’s always another wave of inspiration coming along. I’ve learned to trust in that.
After reading Unwell Women and learning not to see myself as broken, I don’t believe the world and its systems are broken. They were not set up with the needs of our body in mind. They’ve continued to work exactly the way they were set up. Exactly the way they were intended.
One of the first things I did back in 2018 was get clear on my needs. Every action I took from that point onwards was made based on what my needs were. It looked odd to a world where these are not up for consideration.
This way of prioritising went on to help me get clear on what I wanted. Something I see so many of us struggle with, chronically unwell or not.
It’s a great starting point for anyone unsure where to get started. It goes against every system though and challenges everything we’ve been taught.
Thank you so much, Amber! And you’re absolutely right. With the perspective that everything works as intended, then nothing is broken. It just wasn’t for us. And I agree, creativity is an endless well.
This was beautiful Madelleine. Thank you for sharing it with us.
The line that stuck with me was “I know you want me to surface again”
That’s how I feel people treat me. They want the “old” me. They want the me before chronic illness. They want me to be “better”.
They don’t stop to consider what I want, or whether what they’re asking of me is even possible. They just demand normalcy for their own sake, or they leave me to sink.
As you say it gives us cold hearts, not because we’re uncaring, but because people reject our hearts. They reject us. We don’t deserve it.
I think this song will really resonate with people dealing with abandonment due to their chronic illness… I know it certainly resonated with me 💜
Aw thank you so much, that means the world 🩷 And your reflections are exactly how I wanted the song to be received and heard 🌸
These are my favorite lines:
I know you want me to surface again
I’m not done counting mussels and stars
Your sorrys don’t touch me they won’t lessen my pain
The darkness here cleans me like rain
I used to be a swimmer & also find peace under the water. I miss it sooo much. When I take baths, I submerge all but my nose & imagine I’m swimming in a warm sea. It is very calming.
I miss it sooo much too! I think those are my favourite lines too.
Another hauntingly beautiful song 💜🖤
I believe the magic of creativity and flurry of inspiration comes from an infinite well. There is no end to it. It’s always there. There’s a flow to it and (to me) it’s about being in flow, being connected. It comes in waves so it’s catching the waves when they are there. There’s always another wave of inspiration coming along. I’ve learned to trust in that.
After reading Unwell Women and learning not to see myself as broken, I don’t believe the world and its systems are broken. They were not set up with the needs of our body in mind. They’ve continued to work exactly the way they were set up. Exactly the way they were intended.
One of the first things I did back in 2018 was get clear on my needs. Every action I took from that point onwards was made based on what my needs were. It looked odd to a world where these are not up for consideration.
This way of prioritising went on to help me get clear on what I wanted. Something I see so many of us struggle with, chronically unwell or not.
It’s a great starting point for anyone unsure where to get started. It goes against every system though and challenges everything we’ve been taught.
Thank you so much, Amber! And you’re absolutely right. With the perspective that everything works as intended, then nothing is broken. It just wasn’t for us. And I agree, creativity is an endless well.