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Amber Horrox's avatar

Another great post! Really well put.

My greatest struggles of all have been not feeling seen. This can still, on occasion, lead to a full blown attack. (Or maybe more than on occasion and I just haven’t fully realised? Going to sit with this one being as I’m in recovery from a mild attack and see if I can tune into where I’m not feeling seen).

The only way I’ve found to feel seen and feel validated is to learn to self validate and explore my own inner landscape in a similar way you describe.

Connecting with how I’m feeling is a big one. Asking myself how I can support how I’m feeling really helped me learn to emotionally regulate the other year when I began to practice it every day.

I wrote a post called invisible me the other year with some other practices I have on how I’m making myself seen

https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/invisible-me

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

So glad it resonated with you! And Thank you for sharing your experiences 🌸❤️

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Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

Oooh I feel this in my bones. The grief of mourning all the past selves and future selves, and other people scarcely noticing or acknowledging that. I began witnessing myself during the deep covid lockdowns. “I see how hard you are trying, and I admire your courage because I know how frightened you are” I use oftener than I’d like to admit. Last night my inner critic said, “You know what’s wrong with you...” and prepared to settle in to clarify. I said, “Yes, absolutely nothing is wrong with me, I am sick but that doesn’t mean I did anything wrong or I am anything wrong. ”

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Oh I love how you handle your inner critic! Thank you for sharing, Michelle 🌸❤️

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Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

Only took me 56 and ¾ years! Thank you for sharing your brilliance with us, Madelleine

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Audhdpainter's avatar

Great way to handle your inner critic!!

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Dr. Talia's avatar

I love this. Being a witness to ourselves is a wonderful way to heal the impacts of isolation due to illness. Appreciate you <3

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you so much!

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maria's avatar

Such a great post! It made me feel so much empathy with you, others who live with chronic illnesses, and myself in my early 20s - housebound and often completely bedridden while peers were starting university degress, travelling, partying. Thank you for sharing and will use the practice.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

So glad it resonated 😍

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Lynne Maxwell's avatar

Inner critic. Boy I needed to hear this today. My inner critic is alive and well and making me miserable. Thank you for sharing a way to calm it.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Arg yes that inner critic — shower it with lots of love, that’ll teach it 😊

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Sage Garrettson's avatar

This resonates so deeply with me. Self-witnessing is one of the most important practices I have developed to manage my mental health and has been particularly important as I have dealt with Long COVID (they call it an invisible illness for a reason, it can make you feel so invisible!). I am training to become a therapist and I think a huge part of the therapeutic process is just bearing witness to another person's suffering. Beautiful piece, thanks for sharing!

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you! It sounds like you’re on your way to become an amazing and compassionate therapist 🌸

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Sidsel Lindhagen's avatar

What a good idea. Self witness. I struggle with a feeling that life is getting away from me while hoping tomorrow might be better and a day to start again…

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

I struggle with that too 🌸 It’s difficult to find a balanced approach.

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Richard Silverman's avatar

Thank you, Madeleine, for this gentle reminder of the power of self-witnessing.

I, too, have found solace in practices like self-inquiry and metta, which allow me to acknowledge my own hidden struggles. Your words are so honest and beautifully simple, yet they carry a depth that resonates deeply with me. In a world that often can’t fully see us, your approach offers a way to be seen—by ourselves—with love and understanding.

Thank you for sharing this gift. 🙏🕊🙏

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you so much for your kind words, Richard, they are very meaningful to me ✨

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Audhdpainter's avatar

I see you! Yes definitely feel a lot of this. Very well put xx

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

🌸❤️

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Cariea U's avatar

It's so so hard when those around me, family for example, just don't and won't "get it" I'm expected to be the same... so glad I've found you! ❤️

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

It’s incredibly difficult 🌸❤️

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Stephen's avatar

your post(s) hit the mark for me- you articulate and validate my own thoughts and feelings. i see you.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

So glad to hear this 🌸❤️

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Catherine The Middle Aged's avatar

I feel like you're reading my mind 🤔🤓💖 This is something I do and it really really helps (especially on the bad days). Just the simple act of saying 'thank you' to my body feels lovely.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

I’m so glad to hear this 💙❤️

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Tuli Together (Catherine)'s avatar

While I don’t struggle with chronic illness, I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for many years and this resonated so deeply with me. I love how you describe feeling as though you’re being erased… That captures exactly how I feel right now.

I’ve never heard of the concept of self-witnessing, and I really love it. Thank you for sharing!

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Tuli Together (Catherine)'s avatar

And — really looking forward to reading more of your writing. A quick glance through your recent notes has me feeling quite seen🩷

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

I’m so glad you’re feeling seen! 🌸

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Dawn Levitt's avatar

My biggest act of self witnessing is when I admit to myself that today I have permission to do nothing. Today was a very high pain, low energy day. Other than attending a couple pre-scheduled zooms, I did nothing. I gave myself permission to stay on the couch under the heated blanket.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. 💗

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

That’s an important part of self-witnessing, giving yourself permission! And yes, we hope for better days 🌸

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Ian Thomas's avatar

Well, this hit me harder than I expected it to.

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

🌸❤️

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Kasandra's avatar

I feel you. I do feel that way too with other stuff, to put it simply. XOXO

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Madelleine Müller (she/her)'s avatar

🌸❤️

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