My world is small, I’m very isolated and not many people see what is really going on beneath it all. Self-witnessing can be a way to alleviate the feeling of being invisible.
My greatest struggles of all have been not feeling seen. This can still, on occasion, lead to a full blown attack. (Or maybe more than on occasion and I just haven’t fully realised? Going to sit with this one being as I’m in recovery from a mild attack and see if I can tune into where I’m not feeling seen).
The only way I’ve found to feel seen and feel validated is to learn to self validate and explore my own inner landscape in a similar way you describe.
Connecting with how I’m feeling is a big one. Asking myself how I can support how I’m feeling really helped me learn to emotionally regulate the other year when I began to practice it every day.
I wrote a post called invisible me the other year with some other practices I have on how I’m making myself seen
Oooh I feel this in my bones. The grief of mourning all the past selves and future selves, and other people scarcely noticing or acknowledging that. I began witnessing myself during the deep covid lockdowns. “I see how hard you are trying, and I admire your courage because I know how frightened you are” I use oftener than I’d like to admit. Last night my inner critic said, “You know what’s wrong with you...” and prepared to settle in to clarify. I said, “Yes, absolutely nothing is wrong with me, I am sick but that doesn’t mean I did anything wrong or I am anything wrong. ”
Such a great post! It made me feel so much empathy with you, others who live with chronic illnesses, and myself in my early 20s - housebound and often completely bedridden while peers were starting university degress, travelling, partying. Thank you for sharing and will use the practice.
This resonates so deeply with me. Self-witnessing is one of the most important practices I have developed to manage my mental health and has been particularly important as I have dealt with Long COVID (they call it an invisible illness for a reason, it can make you feel so invisible!). I am training to become a therapist and I think a huge part of the therapeutic process is just bearing witness to another person's suffering. Beautiful piece, thanks for sharing!
What a good idea. Self witness. I struggle with a feeling that life is getting away from me while hoping tomorrow might be better and a day to start again…
Thank you, Madeleine, for this gentle reminder of the power of self-witnessing.
I, too, have found solace in practices like self-inquiry and metta, which allow me to acknowledge my own hidden struggles. Your words are so honest and beautifully simple, yet they carry a depth that resonates deeply with me. In a world that often can’t fully see us, your approach offers a way to be seen—by ourselves—with love and understanding.
I feel like you're reading my mind 🤔🤓💖 This is something I do and it really really helps (especially on the bad days). Just the simple act of saying 'thank you' to my body feels lovely.
While I don’t struggle with chronic illness, I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for many years and this resonated so deeply with me. I love how you describe feeling as though you’re being erased… That captures exactly how I feel right now.
I’ve never heard of the concept of self-witnessing, and I really love it. Thank you for sharing!
My biggest act of self witnessing is when I admit to myself that today I have permission to do nothing. Today was a very high pain, low energy day. Other than attending a couple pre-scheduled zooms, I did nothing. I gave myself permission to stay on the couch under the heated blanket.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. 💗
Another great post! Really well put.
My greatest struggles of all have been not feeling seen. This can still, on occasion, lead to a full blown attack. (Or maybe more than on occasion and I just haven’t fully realised? Going to sit with this one being as I’m in recovery from a mild attack and see if I can tune into where I’m not feeling seen).
The only way I’ve found to feel seen and feel validated is to learn to self validate and explore my own inner landscape in a similar way you describe.
Connecting with how I’m feeling is a big one. Asking myself how I can support how I’m feeling really helped me learn to emotionally regulate the other year when I began to practice it every day.
I wrote a post called invisible me the other year with some other practices I have on how I’m making myself seen
https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/invisible-me
So glad it resonated with you! And Thank you for sharing your experiences 🌸❤️
Oooh I feel this in my bones. The grief of mourning all the past selves and future selves, and other people scarcely noticing or acknowledging that. I began witnessing myself during the deep covid lockdowns. “I see how hard you are trying, and I admire your courage because I know how frightened you are” I use oftener than I’d like to admit. Last night my inner critic said, “You know what’s wrong with you...” and prepared to settle in to clarify. I said, “Yes, absolutely nothing is wrong with me, I am sick but that doesn’t mean I did anything wrong or I am anything wrong. ”
Oh I love how you handle your inner critic! Thank you for sharing, Michelle 🌸❤️
Only took me 56 and ¾ years! Thank you for sharing your brilliance with us, Madelleine
Great way to handle your inner critic!!
I love this. Being a witness to ourselves is a wonderful way to heal the impacts of isolation due to illness. Appreciate you <3
Thank you so much!
Such a great post! It made me feel so much empathy with you, others who live with chronic illnesses, and myself in my early 20s - housebound and often completely bedridden while peers were starting university degress, travelling, partying. Thank you for sharing and will use the practice.
So glad it resonated 😍
Inner critic. Boy I needed to hear this today. My inner critic is alive and well and making me miserable. Thank you for sharing a way to calm it.
Arg yes that inner critic — shower it with lots of love, that’ll teach it 😊
This resonates so deeply with me. Self-witnessing is one of the most important practices I have developed to manage my mental health and has been particularly important as I have dealt with Long COVID (they call it an invisible illness for a reason, it can make you feel so invisible!). I am training to become a therapist and I think a huge part of the therapeutic process is just bearing witness to another person's suffering. Beautiful piece, thanks for sharing!
Thank you! It sounds like you’re on your way to become an amazing and compassionate therapist 🌸
What a good idea. Self witness. I struggle with a feeling that life is getting away from me while hoping tomorrow might be better and a day to start again…
I struggle with that too 🌸 It’s difficult to find a balanced approach.
Thank you, Madeleine, for this gentle reminder of the power of self-witnessing.
I, too, have found solace in practices like self-inquiry and metta, which allow me to acknowledge my own hidden struggles. Your words are so honest and beautifully simple, yet they carry a depth that resonates deeply with me. In a world that often can’t fully see us, your approach offers a way to be seen—by ourselves—with love and understanding.
Thank you for sharing this gift. 🙏🕊🙏
Thank you so much for your kind words, Richard, they are very meaningful to me ✨
I see you! Yes definitely feel a lot of this. Very well put xx
🌸❤️
It's so so hard when those around me, family for example, just don't and won't "get it" I'm expected to be the same... so glad I've found you! ❤️
It’s incredibly difficult 🌸❤️
your post(s) hit the mark for me- you articulate and validate my own thoughts and feelings. i see you.
So glad to hear this 🌸❤️
I feel like you're reading my mind 🤔🤓💖 This is something I do and it really really helps (especially on the bad days). Just the simple act of saying 'thank you' to my body feels lovely.
I’m so glad to hear this 💙❤️
While I don’t struggle with chronic illness, I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for many years and this resonated so deeply with me. I love how you describe feeling as though you’re being erased… That captures exactly how I feel right now.
I’ve never heard of the concept of self-witnessing, and I really love it. Thank you for sharing!
And — really looking forward to reading more of your writing. A quick glance through your recent notes has me feeling quite seen🩷
I’m so glad you’re feeling seen! 🌸
My biggest act of self witnessing is when I admit to myself that today I have permission to do nothing. Today was a very high pain, low energy day. Other than attending a couple pre-scheduled zooms, I did nothing. I gave myself permission to stay on the couch under the heated blanket.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for both of us. 💗
That’s an important part of self-witnessing, giving yourself permission! And yes, we hope for better days 🌸
Well, this hit me harder than I expected it to.
🌸❤️
I feel you. I do feel that way too with other stuff, to put it simply. XOXO
🌸❤️